Estate Planning for Blended Families

The U.S. Census Bureau reports that in 2021, more than one in five couples living together had children from a previous relationship, and that number is likely higher today. It’s important for partners in blended families to have an estate plan created early, says a recent article from Moneywise, “A husband is disinheriting his kids and leaving everything to his wife–including their resentment. How to avoid inheritance wars in blended families.”

When someone dies without a will and has not otherwise arranged for their assets to pass outside of probate through joint ownership, beneficiary designations, or funded trusts, they are considered “intestate,” and their state’s laws determine how assets are distributed. State probate courts handle this.

Assets outside of probate, including retirement accounts, 401(k)s and life insurance, skip probate and go directly to the named beneficiary.

Most states follow a hierarchy to determine how assets are distributed and how much is allocated, typically in the order of spouses, children, parents and siblings. Other states follow the equitable distribution method, meaning assets are split based on factors such as the duration of the marriage and each spouse’s financial contributions.

By contrast, couples who work with an experienced estate planning attorney determine who will receive their assets. They can leave them to each other or to their children. Note that property acquired before marriage isn’t automatically split.

When an estate plan has been prepared, the couple can decide which assets go to the surviving spouse. Joint bank accounts and a jointly owned home are protected if they are titled as Joint Tenancy With Rights Of Survivorship (JTWRS), under laws governing assets jointly owned by spouses. When owned this way, when one owner dies, the assets pass to the other owner and do not go through probate.

If one spouse dies and has left everything to the surviving spouse, the surviving spouse has the right to give money to the other spouse’s children from a prior marriage. However, there’s no legal requirement for them to do this, and the other spouse’s children may want more than they are being given.

An option is to create a Qualified Terminable Interest Property (QTIP) trust, which is often used for blended families. A QTIP trust ensures that the surviving spouse receives regular income for life. Once the surviving spouse passes, the balance is paid to the beneficiaries. The QTIP trust may include a ‘spendthrift provision’ if the beneficiaries are known to be irresponsible with money. The trust can direct the beneficiaries to receive distributions over time, rather than a lump sum.

Stepchildren who don’t have good relationships with stepparents may never resolve their issues. However, it is incumbent upon the biological parents to have conversations with their children while they are still living to communicate their decisions and the reasons for them, rather than leaving the surviving spouse to deal with the stepchildren’s reactions upon death.

Circumstances with blended families vary widely, and there is no single right or wrong answer to structuring an estate plan. However, couples should work with an experienced estate planning attorney to create a plan that protects their spouses and honors their wishes regarding the distribution of assets.

If you’re ready to start planning your family’s future, book a consultation with  Hudson Legacy Law  today.

Reference: Moneywise (March 31, 2026) “A husband is disinheriting his kids and leaving everything to his wife–including their resentment. How to avoid inheritance wars in blended families”